Lyman's Story
Citranomicon is the most extreme band to ever exist in the history of all existence. Faster than fast, slower than slow, deadlier than deadly and more necro than your dead grandma! To understand Citranomicon you must know the history of Lyman Sinister. This is his story.
On October 6, 1972, evil was spawned in the form of a deformed baby named Lyman. His mother gave birth to him under rows of orange trees on their farm in Florida. Lyman was strangely colored and deformed due to the nuclear waste dump right next to the farm. It seems an old milk farmer named Jed had sold his farm years ago to the city for untold fortunes. They secretly stashed barrels upon barrels of nuclear waste in the soil. This ruined the Sinister's farm, as the oranges grew weirdly, not unlike our newborn hero. Lyman grew up ridiculed and hated in the public schools, due to his odd appearance. His face was yellow and orange, his voice raspy and demon-like. The children were ruthless and cruel to poor Lyman. He learned self-reliance early in life.
Home life was not much better for Lyman. The family farm was taken away from them, and his parents died from radiation poisoning. Lyman was now a teenager, and was beginning to understand what was happening to him. He did some research, and found out about the old farmer Jed, and his secret deal with the city. He vowed revenge on the city government, and grew to hate milk farmers for their deceptive ways.
Lyman quit school, and lived in the street for a while. No one would hire him, and he hated work anyway. He lived off of the citrus that grew wildly on his parents abandoned farm. It seemed that part of his mutation made him immune to radiation. In fact, it made him stronger! He discovered his parents record collection, in the old house attic. For days he listened to Black Sabbath, Dio, Judas Priest, Iron Maiden, Slayer, Anthrax and S.O.D. Soon he needed more. He went to stores all around the city to find heavier music. One day he heard an album by Mayhem, and he knew he must learn to play that fast. Lyman wanted to be a guitar god. The Pagan ways of Black Metal bands appealed to him. Lyman quickly robbed a bank, and went to buy a guitar and amp. The genesis of evil had begun...
By 1999, Lyman was beginning to reach his musical goals, but felt empty inside. He had so much hatred and loathing inside of him. Why did he exist? What was his purpose? He took up meditation to find inner-peace. Once he mastered the trance state, he had wild visions. A Goddess named Nutritia came to him. She told him of the higher plane of existence. She revealed to Lyman that she was the Goddess of all creation, and the mighty God Lemon was her male companion. Nutritia then spoke strange words to Lyman. "You are the chosen child of fruity creation, you are not mortal. Humans are not worthy of our blessings. Go forth and destroy the weak, for they blaspheme our earth with concrete, wire and plastic. You are the destruktor Lyman, now kill, Kill, KILL!!!".
Lyman now had purpose, but how to fulfill the prophecy? Lyman decided the only way to poison the people, is to make the people want the poison. He would enlist an army much like the "KISS ARMY", except this army would fight. After a year of demonic writing, Lyman finished the book known as the CITRANOMICON X-MORTIIS. A book filled with powerful magick spells, and demonic incantations. To get the word out, he needed a band. Citranomicon was born.
Citranomicon was originally a duo. Before recording the first EP "Songs Of Nutrtia", Lyman conducted a long ass spawning ritual. From the diabolical ass of Lyman Sinister, Tangerine Golgotha was born. Golgotha handled drum programming under the watchful eye of Lyman, and was given one song to sing "Golgotha's Blues". Soon after the recording of that song Golgotha became too big for his fruity britches, and Lyman was forced to kill him.
Lyman worked alone from then on. He released the CDs "The Grand Forest of Grapefruit and Knowledge" and "Epicus Citrus Doomicus". During this time he fell out of favor with Nutritia and Lemon by falling in love with a fruit bat vampire. Lyman renounced the sacred daylight and lost his power and creativity for a short while.
During this time Lyman tried to start his own record label and signed 7 unknown bands to a contract. One by one these bands disappeared without a trace, and the authorities were called to investigate. To their horror they found the corpses of the band members scattered around Lyman's home studio. Lyman had been stealing their riffs and using their bodies for strange Orangeanic rituals. Lyman was sent to jail for his crimes. The police never found the hard drive that contained the raw tracks for Lyman's un-finished masterpiece. A year later the hard drive wound up in the hands of Lyman's manager Larry Smith. Larry edited the songs, removed the tortured screams of the victims (to avoid lawsuits) and hired musicians to complete the tracks. He released "The Murder Sessions" in a storm of controversy.
Lyman gave an interview from prison in which he voiced his displeasure with Larry Smith for defiling Nutritia, soiling the legacy of Citranomicon with an inferior product and profiting from Lyman's misfortune. He vowed revenge, but it was not to be. Lyman apparently committed suicide in his cell a year later. However, the story does not end here.
It has been rumored that Larry Smith has been acting very strange lately, and claims that he is Lyman Sinister. In a recent interview he proclaimed that he used the ancient powers of Nutritia to switch bodies, and that Larry was the one who committed suicide in prison once he realized his fate. Larry Smith claims to be working on reclaiming the empire of Citranomicon. Who knows what evil misfortune awaits the world if Lyman is truly free?